Sometimes It Takes A Crash To Wake Up

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, 
rather than as you think it should be-Dr Wayne Dyer

Waking up should be easy right? Our physical body opens it's eyes and rises from the bed, but we can get lost in a mindset or emotion that doesn't allow us to move forward. One that keeps us very much asleep to what's really going on.

In my book Writing Your Own Life I speak directly to waking up to life and in my blogs I try to make sure that I hang a quote that rings true to the message I'm trying to convey. Over the years I have developed habits to stay connected to what I truly want in my life. Positive habits were a must, because I had been lost in a ton of negative ones for a very long time. 

Recently I have fallen off the wagon so to speak in the daily rituals that keep me on the happiness trail. I'm nowhere near where I was 10 years ago when I didn't want to get out of bed, but all the same, I've been off track.

As I evaluated the above quote from Dr Wayne Dyer I read it several times to ensure there would be no confusion of message. Life as it is kept running through my mind. I guess if one wanted to they could construe this to mean they can excuse the fact that they are not living up to commitments they made to themselves to have the life that they want. It is what it is is a phrase that's often thrown around and often let's us off the hook when we are neglecting our own well being. Fortunately I've learned how to pull myself out of set backs much faster than in the past. Or so I thought until the crash.

Three months ago my sister went to see a doctor with some concerns she was having and six weeks later she was dead. Words that still catch me by surprise when they come to me; my sister is dead. I never said things like, it's not fair or why did this happen. I knew better and it would have been hypocritical of me as I speak quite often about the fragility of life and living in the moment because we never know how many moments we have. I knew those words weren't just for other people.

Seeing life for what it is doesn't mean staying complacent. It means acknowledging what's happening in the now and taking steps to change what is not in alignment with your journey.

Since my sister's death my work life has been successful. I planned an 85th birthday for my mom, which was successful. On the outside, it appeared that all of my practices about being happy were in play and effective. It wasn't until I crashed the other day that I realized that I needed to see things for what they were. And by crash, I mean CRASH! I crashed my car right into the back of a Mercedes Benz. Fortunately, the other driver and his car were just fine. My car had a minor crack in the bumper area, but me? I had been damaged on the inside and didn't even know it. Some people don't believe that everything happens for a reason, but I believe that if you look closely at things that happen and see them for what they are, there will be reasons to take notice of.

The truth is, I have been sad and maybe even a little angry since my sister's death. My sister and I never had the same philosophy on why we are here and what might happen to us in the hereafter, but I've always believed that we both are at peace with whatever we feel that may be. She sure was. She wasn't sad or angry or afraid, because her faith and her truth was enough for peace in her death. That crash was my wake up call to get back at it, because I wasn't living my truth.

I heard a show on XM the other day where Judy Gold spoke of not always being connected to here Jewish traditions. She recounted her father's death and sitting Shiva. Once Shiva is complete, the family walks around the block in their neighborhood to mark the end of mourning. She goes on to relay that Judaism taught her how to handle death. How to go through the mourning process.

Nobody ever said life's journey was going to be easy, in fact it can be quite messy indeed. The one thing that's for certain is that we are all on a journey in this life and how we choose to move through that journey no matter how short or how long, is entirely up to us.

I've had many wake up calls in my life. The latest one just happened to be a car crash. I haven't been writing or practicing being grateful everyday. I believe that I have been staying true to my purpose of helping others, however, I haven't been true to myself. That takes a toll on the body and soul of a person. You see, I hit that car because I was distracted. What I realized was that I hadn't just been distracted in that moment. I had been distract in many moments of my current existence. 

There is a place for sadness in our lives. You know the saying. If not for the bad times, we wouldn't recognize the good. So take your time to mourn loss. Holding on too long though? There's no place for that. So this blog marks the last day of mourning for me. And while I'm sure it won't be the last tear I shed, I know that for myself and in honor of my beautiful sister Sharon, I will continue to live my life with purpose.

We all get off track once in a while for many different reasons. You don't need a car crash to wake you up. If you stay connected to the commitments that you make to yourself you'll wake up much quicker and stay on track much longer.

So if you're stuck in a moment right now that is not intended to be part of your journey. Allow yourself the moment to be stuck, but determine how long you plan on being there, being careful not to take too long. Stuck for life in a negative mindset is not an option. Your peace comes from living your belief.

Fuel your life with love, laughter and purpose.